Dr Merali: The man on a mission to make men cry

The idea that “real men don’t cry” has lingered in society for generations, painting a picture of masculinity where emotional vulnerability is seen as weakness. Dr Mahmoud Merali, a psychologist at Aga Khan University Hospital, Nairobi, said the concept is not only misleading but also puts men’s mental health at risk. He is on a mission to change that, insisting men, too, should cry because it is necessary. “We, as men, are conditioned to be emotionally tough,” explains Dr Merali. “From a very young age, boys are taught not to shed tears, no matter the pain. This cultural expectation becomes ingrained in us, making it difficult for men to express their feelings in adulthood, even when facing extreme stress, grief or trauma,” he says. Suppressing emotions may seem like a strength at first glance, but Dr Merali warns of the long-term dangers. “Unexpressed grief, sadness or frustration does not just disappear. Instead, it festers and emerges as anxiety, depression, anger or even physical illness,” he says.